Why It's Okay Not to Have Many Friends and How to Appreciate It

I stumbled upon a picture of my friend's wedding on Instagram. There were people around her, people who used to be my friends too and I was not there. Oh well, I'm not inside the circle anymore, I guess. As I was observing it, I was wondering why most of my friendship didn't last long. I never had more that 7 people in my packs and most of them drifted away and move on with their lives as I move to another place. I find that I questioned myself a lot. Where is everyone? Is something wrong with me?

I tried several times (still and probably will never stop doing it), reached out to people and tried to get in touch. But then again, sometimes things just doesn't work the way you planned it. There are times when I feel tired of the never ending tries and having the kind of response that was not expected. Looking at how things are, I now realize that I looked at the situation from an incorrect perspective. So I used to blame myself a lot. I thought that I was unsociable, weird, and minor. I compared myself with the social butterflies, get jealous, and end up blaming myself even more. But what if there was nothing wrong with me? What if I am perfectly fine and people just don't understand the way things work for me?

On dealing with the guilt and reconnecting with people
If you are struggling with the guilt, anxiety, depression, disappointment on yourself, and you also willing to change you mind set and rebuild the connection and network, here are some tips that has help me along the way. 

• Make peace with yourself. Leo Babauta, which you might know him from from zenhabit.net come up with this self-compassion method that I really love. It went first with noticing, accepting, comfort, and ended in smile. This method helps me to eliminate all the negativity that consumes me. Most importantly, it helps me to forgive myself. Works whenever I feel guilty, anxious, angry, and whatever destructive behavior, you name it.
• Develop self love. Constantly comparing yourself with other people is not gonna help you in any ways. Everyone has their own problems and they are no different from you. As people say, what looks perfect form the outside, might not be as perfect in the inside. Having less friend doesn't mean you're a loser, you're just being mind-full with the kind of connection you want to have. Once you develop self love, people will see your good quality and they will start to get attracted to it.
• Thank and let go of past relationship. Hold on into past, can make you stuck in one place and it's not gonna bring you anywhere. You might miss a chance of developing a great friendship with other people if you keep looking back. Thank them for being in your life and to make it beautiful and colorful, then let go and move on. Believe that both of you will have a better path ahead and maybe one day, you might reconnect.
• Embrace ongoing friendship. Live the moment, enjoy your time with the ones that you have now. Respect their companionship. A classic advice, be yourself! People would love to see your true self and trust me, you don't have to act like the extroverts to gain people interest as long as you be kind and be humble to them. Who knows, they might be your awaited life-long friend.
• Appreciate any possible future connection. Once you have passed all the steps above, you'll find it easy to finally connect with people. Do not afraid to talk to anyone. Believe it or not, most people wouldn't mind when you talk to them. Smile and say 'Hi'. It's not easy at first, but with more practices, you'll get used to it. You'll thanked yourself later.
• Be happy. Life is simple. Be happy and enjoy life. In the end, everything depend on you. You can be as happy as the social butterfly and you can feel just as precious as them. Or, you can stay miserable. You decide.

Believe me, even myself can't do this in one night and am still struggling with all of the things that I mentioned above. But I can be sure that I am a better person than I was, or at least I feel a lot better about myself -- and you should too. No need too rush, just one little step at a time. Things will get better eventually.